On Sunday, I went to Norris Canyon Estates gated community in San Ramon, California and was captured by its breathtaking hilly landscape. So close to urban amenities, including 30 miles from San Francisco, a stone's throw to Dublin and Pleasanton, and another 20-30 minutes to my existing home in Mountain House.
I loved the quality of the properties as well. Very well designed community and totally exclusive with security guards in front of the gate. Manicured lawns and "living at the top" kind of feeling.
What a place for full-time retirement in 4-5 more years. Well, in such a beautiful setting, I should be able to write better books and columns. Perhaps a Nobel prize in literature is way out of my league, but a few best-selling books without much literary content should be doable. :)
I didn't realize how busy I was until I tried breaking down the hours and activities. So far my activities are divided into:
Business activities
Academic research
Writing columns
Writing books
Activism volunteering
Household chores
Where is vacation and leisure time? I'd need to make another extra day for it. Can I work four days in a week and enjoy life the remaining three days? Let's see.
I've gotta! Will go to Vegas, finally, and enjoy the whole week doing nothing.
I lost my daughter when she was 7 weeks in my womb. I started the pregnancy in September 2008 and the OB/GYN found out she had no heartbeat in November 2008. For almost two months, I didn't realize she was alive in me due to vague signs of pregnancy.
She would have been 3 months old today. Instead, she left a big hole in her mother's heart. My daughter is watching me from heaven. Together with her great grandfather, they are my guardian angels. I just need to close my eyes and meet them.
[A journal entry on a typical day in San Diego when I stayed with Maria in September 2009.]
I like observing. People, landscapes, trees, cars, and
passing by animals. Sometimes I count how many dogs I passed by on a particular
day. Sometimes I would notice the color of the sky as it changes from bright
blue to pale to grayish. Of course, there are days when I don’t notice many
things.
On those days, I didn’t even notice myself. Like today.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed. It was not my bed.
It was Maria’s, my best friend’s. It has been her bed for ten years, or,
perhaps eleven. And today, I woke up in her bed.
I noticed this bed. I noticed her tiny studio apartment. I
noticed Maria was upstairs sleeping in one of our landlord’s extra bedrooms. I
noticed Bella, the aloof cat who loves sleeping by Maria’s feet.
I noticed the sparkling swimming pool by the apartment
window. I noticed the one-year old patio and the breathtaking view beneath it:
the skyscrapers and the military barracks-turned into a street mall. I noticed
the Coronado Bridge arching the horizon. I noticed the white clouds.
In short, I noticed many things when I woke up in a strange
bed this morning. Yet, I didn’t notice myself.
I was just a spectator to this new studio apartment. I
recalled how I headed to the bathroom and washed up to get ready to go to the writers' training at the university. I recalled how I was looking for this black blouse I’m
wearing in a cramped green suitcase laid on the carpet.
In short, I recalled the things I did this morning as new
morning rituals away from my Bay Area home. Yet I didn’t notice myself.
What was my feeling this morning? Was I confused in this new
city? Was I homesick? Was I ready to embrace what today has to offer?
I didn’t care much about what I felt this morning. I didn’t
want to bother looking inside.
I was too busy looking outside. I was too busy trying to
brush my teeth as fast as I could. I was too busy looking for those black socks
and I was too busy chewing my Bologna sandwich. I was too busy placing this
black HP laptop into its case. I was too preoccupied without noticing anything
else.
It didn’t feel like I was missing anything. Not until now.
Was I just a spectator of this new place and this strange bed? Was I just a
ghost of the past who happened to be waking up alive this morning? Was I just a
shadow in a new city with million rays of sunshine?
I didn’t notice myself this morning, but I know I was there.
I know I was making some impact in this chaotic and oftentimes strange world.
No matter how tiny and overlooked.
I am a pilgrim of the past heading into the future. And in
between, I pass by the present. Sometimes with full awareness, sometimes
without.[]
I'll be traveling much more intensively starting November with a few stopovers in NYC, Toronto, Singapore, Taipei, and Jakarta. This, of course, assuming all residential and office moves have been completed. Perhaps I'd drop by Guam as well, a friend who's like a brother to me goes to nursing school there and we all miss him so much.
During my stopovers, I'll write a few travel articles. And yes, I'd really need to learn how to take great photographs.
It's definitely a new chapter in life, as I'll be exploring many new possibilities, including my lifelong passion in natural things. What a great life.
Before people put a curse on you, God has put a blessing on you. God's blessing overrides all curses. (Joel Osteen)
Starting October, I'll be writing for The Jakarta Post again, after almost one year writing for The Jakarta Globe. The column will appear every other week.
The Jakarta Post is the oldest and the largest English newspaper in Indonesia. Read more about them here.
Topics covered for this Opinion column include:
Human rights
Humanity
Compassion and peace
Minority rights
Gender rights
Third wave feminism
Business law
Education
Online learning
Entrepreneurship
Internet economy
Social issues in Indonesia
Social issues in USA
Prior columns published both in The Jakarta Post and The Jakarta Globe, as well as in other publications in China, Korea, and USA, can be found in an anthology, which is available in PDF here.
These are pictures of my house. I love the front, side, and back yards. So many plants and trees: lemon, lime, grapevine, avocado, pear, bamboos, pink-white-red-dark pink roses, olive, beet roots, bougenvilila, cactus, yellow lily, calla lilly and many others. Sometimes there are hummingbirds and squirrels too.
I love my house and I love it as my home. Perhaps a "house" is not "home" and vice versa. if that's so, then I can be houseless but not homeless.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands: one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.
San Francisco and San Diego. What are the differences and similarities? Both are Californian and very close to the coast, but one is industrious while the other is laid back and slow paced.
My nature is more of San Franciscan than San Diegan. San Francisco and Silicon Valley are known for their creative and inventive residents. They walk much faster than San Diegans as well.
San Diego is a great place for retrieving in a retreat and spending a vacation. I pass by San Diego a long time ago and I'm doing it again now. I'd stay there for a while, only to reflect on what I should do next.
Most likely, San Francisco (and Silicon Valley) would be my home for a very long time. And I'm grateful for it.
It took me a long time to decide not to do the one thing that I thought I would do (because my loved ones have been motivating me to do so as they believe that I would make a great one). It would require five years to accomplish and it is way too long a time to finish just one task (a gigantic one, that is).
I have come to terms that it is better to do a few things within five years. The things that are meaningful but not necessarily as "glamorous" or "highly prestigious."
In my simplistic mind, it would make the whole world if I can produce one NYT best-selling book (for my writing passion) and a few start-ups (for my entrepreneurial passion). A few business ideas have come up as well. One of them is an online university based in Northern California. It is part-for profit and part-non profit as it will be giving away many 100% scholarship seats.
My mother always gives me the freedom to be myself and to pursue whatever I wish. My hubby always wants to me to be my best, while I don't always want to do. He often said, "Jennie, look at them, they are not as talented as you are, but they are so high above. Why don't you pursue this? I'm sure you'd be much better than them." I was surprised and usually I kept quiet.
I believe that every human being has the capacity to achieve anything they believe in. But we also have free will. I have chosen a path less traveled and it's very important to be realistic. Whenever I weigh the "idealistic" goals with "realistic" ones, I usually choose the latter. Better be realistic so I won't regret later.
Of course, I believe in balancing family obligations and humanitarian/civic activisms.
But five years is such a long time to spend on working at something completely idealistic without knowing where life is going to take after that. I'm sorry, it's just not me. I'm still my mother's daughter, my husband's wife, and my future children's mother, but I'm a person who doesn't believe in being glorified for one singular thing.
I like doing many things at the same time. It makes me happy and feel useful. Even when those things don't take me to the summit of Himalayan mountains.
I'm moving everything, including furniture from living room, dining room, four bedrooms, an office, and appliances (refrigerator, washer, dryer, dishwasher, etc.) to a new place. It's hectic and I also need to make some deals in the process. A gigantic mover's truck is badly needed. It is a long-term move to a new city by the beach (yay).
The small move:
I'm moving to a shared apartment with a good friend in Point Loma, San Diego for my short-term post at USD.
My apology for not being able to keep in touch during the transition. Thank you for understanding.
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