Republished in Psychology Central Good Life Column on March 22, 2012.
Originally published in NY Parenting on June 7, 2011.
by Jennie S. Bev
Raising children is about shaping traits and instilling values, not merely about fixing behaviors. Teaching children how to flourish should start with focusing on their strengths, not their weaknesses. By focusing on their strengths, parents and children are more motivated to work together as a team. But teaching positivity isn’t synonymous with using positive reinforcements all the time. It’s a tricky balance of reframing.
Every child is born with his own level of so-called “natural” happiness. Some were born with over-the-top cheerfulness, while others are born with less. This explains why some children are fussier, while others keep grinning from ear to ear, regardless of the mood of the surrounding environment. Happy kids tend to respond differently to failure than not-too-happy kids. Their strengths, however, should be distinguished from their natural level of happiness.
